Month: February 2017

immunizeLABS Has You Covered

Posted on by akiwifreund

Whenever I venture out in public, I try not to think about all of the surfaces that other people have touched, and what they have touched before they touched those surfaces. But I have to. My immune system severely lacks IgG3 and IgG4, which means I can’t fight off microbes like normal people can, and I’m blessed (should I say blessed?) with fibromyalgia and irritable bowel syndrome, which make me more vulnerable to illnesses and tougher to recover. The most recent confirmation that I was born with mast cell activation disease doomed me to vulnerability. I know what I have, I just gotta find a way to fight stuff off. Besides being diligent about washing my hands and not touching my face, what are my options?

I was contacted by immunizeLABS to try five products in the thick of flu season. I have been given these products as part of a product review through the Chronic Illness Bloggers network. Although the products were a gift, all opinions in this review remain my own and I was in no way influenced by the company.

First I’ll cover three supplements: Boost, Shield and PainRelief.
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Immediate basic impressions were that I was thrilled that these were room-temperature stable and that I didn’t have to store them in the fridge. I have so much more success with taking things on a regular basis when I have them sitting in front of me than I do when they are tucked away in a fridge. Also, you’ll notice that the contents are sold in dark blue bottles; most companies will do this when the contents are photo-sensitive and the ingredients degrade when exposed to light.

The most important thing about all of these products (including the items that follow after these three) is that they all contain colloidal silver. Colloidal silver is known to be anti-microbial. In fact, I purchased a quick-drying travel towel that is woven with silver threads because it is specifically anti-microbial. If you have done any kind of studying on your conditions (if they overlap with mine), you know that microbes tend to be our enemy and overtake our systems and are hard to get rid of.

immunizeLABS formulated each of their products to have a specific outcome. For instance, each one does contain different values of the colloidal silver, as well as ginger, cinnamon bark oil and medium chain triglycerides, but then the PainRelief contains curcumin, which has been used for centuries as an anti-inflammatory. You wouldn’t want to leave home without Shield, which included in its ingredients is the all-important vitamin C in a super dose, but there’s also other supportive items that you don’t have in your medicine cabinet. Add Boost to your routine, which includes glutathione, which is a supplement that assists with repairing and building tissues, making chemicals and proteins, and generally “boosting” the immune system. (Their complete ingredient lists are available on their website: immunizeLABS)

The products state to start with 1 teaspoon of product in 2-4 ounces of filtered water in the morning at a minimum of 20 minutes before you eat, gradually working up to 2 tablespoons of product in water over a week’s time. Here are pictures of what each look like before they are mixed in water (left to right: Shield, PainRelief, Boost):

The product labels say the flavors are “chocolate.” This is the only problem I had with the products. I know that these contain all kinds of things that are good for me, but I could never get past the flavor. My dad and uncle owned a hair salon for decades and they taste like what they use for hair coloring. I’m sorry. They just do. So what do you do? You mix it fast and you chug it fast.

So in the thick of flu season, I can say that I have successfully avoided getting taken down by any nasty bugs, despite being out often in public. I’m not sure if my inflammation has been systemically reduced, but not getting sick is huge for me. I did feel more clear-headed – brain fog is a real challenge – and my digestive tract acted like it was on an actual schedule rather than all wacky. I could also tell that my pulse was not jumping around after ingesting the cocktails. When it does, it’s an indication to me that my blood sugars are spiking or I’ve had something I’m allergic to. I will consider this an overall win. 

One of their other products may have helped to protect me, and that is their Breathe Easy Nasal Spray:
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I’m not a sufferer of migraines so I can’t give an opinion from that perspective. However, I often suddenly develop congestion – and I’m not sure if it’s because I’m experiencing a mast cell trigger, or if there’s pressure building up in my cranium from the cerebrospinal fluid building up. The Breathe Easy spray is a mixture of the colloidal silver plus sea salt, certain essential oils, as well as horseradish and cayenne pepper (say what??). I’ve been giving it a couple of pumps before I go to bed as well as when I feel stuffy, or when I come in from being out in public, and again, I haven’t gotten sick and the stuffiness goes away. I also consider this to be a “win.” In fact, you can use this one as often as you feel the need, so I think I’m going to do that right now.

I’m saving my favorite for last, and that’s the OralMiracle.
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I have all kinds of challenges with my mast cell activation disease, including my mouth burning and suddenly developing allergies and sensitivities where I didn’t previously have any. Even commercial brands that are on the market that boast to be alcohol-free still make my mouth burn. I also want to have white teeth just as much as the next person – why should I have to sacrifice that just because I react to strong chemicals? Again, this product contains the colloidal silver to control microbes; imagine how much of a boost it gives your mouth to have that anti-microbial assistance when you’re trying to prevent tooth decay.

The recommendation on OralMiracle is to swish 2 teaspoons for 3 minutes; “The longer you swish, the deeper the healing.” The taste is pleasant and most importantly, my mouth doesn’t burn. They strongly recommend that you don’t eat or drink for the rest of the evening so the product isn’t washed away. My budget is really, really limited right now, but this is the one item that I would spend money on again and again.

Please visit immunizeLABS for their entire line of products as well as their ingredients to make sure that they will be safe for you to use.

Living with……

Posted on by akiwifreund

One of my friends only just recently decided to post on Facebook the random challenges she faces as someone who struggles with anxiety on a daily (and really, constant) basis, including scenarios similar to these. Posting on FB makes her particularly vulnerable (I think) because people tend to be a lot more random; here in the blog sphere we can tailor our focus and therefore possibly in turn be a more understanding audience for our fellow bloggers right out of the gate.

I’m learning to live with anxiety myself now, something I’ve never had to deal with. It hitched a ride with my major depressive disorder and PTSD (yes, they’re official). I now get anxiety every time I have to talk on the phone. Because of the pressure in my cranium and where the tumor is pressing, I forget words, and I stutter and stumble, and I’m very self-conscious about that. I often forget what I’m talking about mid-sentence too, especially if it’s complex.

I’ve always been a very social person. Because of anxiety though, I have to talk myself out of cancelling plans every time. I usually don’t sleep the night before doctor appointments. Recently I didn’t sleep after an appointment. But the absolute weirdest thing that happened is that I had a panic episode watching a movie. A stupid movie. I can’t even remember which movie it was (I burn through them quickly – 6 or 7 a week) – but I had to shut it off. It wasn’t an action movie.

It’s a strange club to be in.

Please read my fellow blogger’s piece on anxiety.

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I often think that the hardest thing with anxiety is that people without it can’t comprehend how difficult it is to do simple things like taking your child to school, during the school run. C…

Source: Living with……

Are You An Organ Donor?

Posted on by akiwifreund

I have friends who have received organs from living donors, from cadaver donors and from donors who have indicated that they wanted to donate their organs and tissues in the event that they suffered trauma that they could not recover from.

There just aren’t enough organs for the people that are listed. And organ rejection is a real concern. But scientists are looking to pigs to fill in the gaps on how we can avoid rejection:

New Hope in Organ Donation Crisis

Also, this story has been making headlines from the Mayo clinic, based here in Minnesota. It’s the first facial transplant that the Mayo has attempted. It was also surreal to realize as I was originally reading the article that I have a personal connection to one of the families. I was not much younger than Lilly when her mom and I met each other and became fast friends while attending a school for the arts. I can’t imagine going through all that she has – marriage, pregnancy, the sudden loss of her spouse, and then deciding to go ahead with this donation – at her age, but damn, she has done good. By the way, their baby boy is absolutely adorable, and absolutely adored.

Mayo Clinic Performs First Face Transplant

We have so far to go with science and healthcare. We don’t know all there is to know. We have to keep moving forward, and supporting lawmakers who approve budgets for science.

 

Dear Seema: The Politics of Prevention

Posted on by akiwifreund

We are the only privileged nation who allows insurance companies to make a profit off of our sick bodies and demonize those of us – ALL OF US – who need healthcare. Because after all, all of us will need healthcare, whether it’s at the beginning, middle or end of our lives.

Marilyn R. Gardner

Note: Seema Verma is President Trump’s nominee to lead the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services in the United States.

Dear Seema,

I’m a Registered Nurse who works in Boston, Massachusetts. I have witnessed first-hand what it is like for people to go without insurance, to delay preventive health screening only to find out that cancer is a far more expensive problem.

There are not a lot of things that make my proverbial blood boil, but reducing access to preventive healthcare, including maternity benefits, does. It makes me so angry I can’t see straight.

Look, I get it. Health care is expensive. Someone has to pay for it. But everyone bears the burden of an unhealthy society and while the Affordable Care Act (aka Obama Care) was not perfect, it began to put some policies in place that have been needed for a long time.

I come to this not from…

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Why women are not sl*ts- they are temples

Posted on by akiwifreund

How to be a girl or a woman in the world, and how to avoid the pitfalls of automatically thinking “slut” or “whore” and assuming that we are just vessels for men’s pleasure and disposal starting from an early age.

hairyarmpits

The Golden Temple (holiest Sikh shrine), Amritsar, Punjab, IndiaSri Harmandir Sahib. Source: WordPress

I see myself as a Goddess. If I value myself and my body and decide that it is sacred – does that mean no one can come inside and visit? No. A truly beautiful temple has many visitors. This doesn’t mean that a woman who saves herself for one man or woman or trans person, is any less of a temple.

We need to see ourselves as beautiful beings, and tell our friends, no – just because someone burnt down the alter, or wrote on the walls, does not mean you are any less of a goddess temple. As the line says in the poem– “no man can make a wounded energy of your flesh.”

And no name- no shame- that you felt after the one night stand, the rape, the callous looks of someone who is upset about something in themselves and has…

View original post 302 more words

V-Day

Posted on by akiwifreund

I ran into my next-door neighbor yesterday as I was coming back from the pharmacy up the street and she was heading out to her car. We usually only exchange a “hey” and weak smiles. Instead, I said, “Did you hear the downstairs couple screaming for eight and a half hours Saturday???”

She said, “Oh, I guess he has PTSD, so that’s why he’s violent.”

I said, “That’s NO excuse. None.”

She walked away from me quickly and snidely said over her shoulder, “Well, stuff happens in relationships.” 

Yeah, it does. I can tell you all about the relationship downstairs. There’s a lot of crying. The guy rages and screams and says that he CAN’T EXPRESS HIMSELF LIKE SHE CAN and SHE’S GOT IT EASY and EVERYONE LETS HER TALK BUT NO ONE LETS HIM TALK and I can’t hear her response clearly because he’s raging and screaming and telling her to shut the fuck up. Sometimes he tells her she’s stupid for touching his stuff. Sometimes he tells her she’s stupid for cleaning a certain way and that no one else cleans that way in the entire world. THE ENTIRE WORLD DOES IT BETTER THAN SHE DOES. If she would just LISTEN TO HIM THEN THINGS WOULD BE BETTER, but NO, SHE’S GOT TO BE FUCKING SELFISH, and WHY DOES SHE MAKE IT SO HARD ON HIM? She’s so self-centered!

This went on for eight and a half hours Saturday night. The only break was when they had visitors at around 7 pm to sing one of them – I think the husband – happy birthday. Just a half hour beforehand there was sobbing, so someone had to get cleaned up before the friends came over. Then when the visitors left, there was a huge, audible sigh, and the fighting resumed. 

Is this what my next-door neighbor really believes is the norm? Is this really what is healthy in her eyes?

It doesn’t feel good to me. It makes my skin crawl. Specifically, it affects me because I have been in it before. The worst was Drummer #2, the guy who would write me hate letters in dry erase marker on the kitchen tile counter overnight and cover the entire counter and I would wake up to chaos. Our fights would last hours and days, and the scripts were the same: he couldn’t talk about his feelings (while screaming at me), if I would only do things his way then he wouldn’t get pissed off at me (but the rules were always changing), and by the way, why was I so selfish?

But I didn’t learn my lesson with him. The most recent live-in boyfriend that I had turned violent after we moved in together. He became very unhappy after realizing that I wouldn’t be able to wait on him hand and foot because I’d be recovering from one of my many surgeries, and it really pissed him off that I made twice as much money as him. He shoved me three weeks after one of my surgeries. I broke up with him five months after we moved in together, but I still kick myself for even letting it go that long.

Eve Ensler, the creator of “The Vagina Monologues,” came up with a brilliant movement: V-Day. On Valentine’s Day, it’s important to remember that it’s not always roses and chocolates – sometimes it’s booze and bruises, or worse.

http://www.vday.org/homepage.html

And of course a block down the road from us in St. Paul is the oldest women’s shelter in the U.S.

But even though we have these wonderful resources, and we have the women’s march in D.C. and around the globe, and we can say “pussy” and “vagina” without raising an eyebrow, there is still such a huge disconnect.

Why is my neighbor so flip about “stuff” happening in relationships? Is she just so fucking grateful that it’s all about pleasing the guy? And is her assumption that I’ve never been in a relationship so I don’t have a clue? Oh, honey, let me direct you to my blog…

But I feel like it is such a never-ending battle, for me, and for all women, to be considered equal and to not be slut shamed or used as punching bags, and to make sure we are not buying into some patriarchal and misogynistic vomit.

Film’s Major Issue with Minority Women

Posted on by akiwifreund

I’m surprised by how many of these movies I’ve seen and enjoyed without knowing that they were directed by women; it’s something that is not often advertised. These films in particular were directed by women of color since the 1990s to the present; check them out, in celebration of Black History Month! Here’s what I’ve seen so far but check the original blog for a more complete list:

“Bend it Like Beckham”
“Beyond the Lights”
“Daughters of the Dust”
“Down in the Delta”
“Eve’s Bayou”
“Frida”
“Girl in Progress”
“Girlfight”
“Love & Basketball”
“Monsoon Wedding”
“Real Women Have Curves”
“The 13th” (not on the list, but released in 2016, directed by Ava DuVernay
“The Secret Life of Bees”
“Things We Lost in the Fire”
“Whale Rider”
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It is not an unknown fact now, I think, that women are in a minority when it comes to directing films. However there are those who are in even more of a disadvantage because they are placed within …

Source: Film’s Major Issue with Minority Women

How Much Do I Owe The Swear Jar This Time?

Posted on by akiwifreund

A couple of weeks ago I got the last of my fillings repaired as part of the bigger, year-long, multiple visits to the dentist that were caused by me clamping my jaw in my sleep because of the pain in my shoulder and abdomen. I also had to make sure that they marked in my chart that I had slit ventricle syndrome and the tumor because they love to tip me waaaaaaaaay back in the chair and it really messes with the pressure in my head.

There was a mixup with my appointment and they got me back much later than my start time, which caused me to have to call my transportation to pick me up later; unfortunately, transportation had to leave me until 2 hours after I was done, which caused the fluid to build up a lot, which means I was hella uncomfortable and my vision was cut down quite a bit. But before that, I had a weird/comical/maddening exchange with the staff in the back.

I require four times the amount of numbing medication because my sodium channels don’t process pain meds correctly. Both of the teeth we worked on were in my upper jaw, so I ended up being numb up to my forehead. When they sat me up after I was patched up, they told me I could walk to Walmart down the road (as if! No way am I giving them my money!). I said no. They said I could then walk somewhere else. I again said no. They asked me why. In the best way I could with a very numb tongue/lips, I said, “I can’t theecuz oth wuth wrong with ny vrane.” The assistant, who was none too bright, said, “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR VEINS??” I said, “No. Ny vrane. Vrane.” And I pointed at my head. The assistant dentist asked what was wrong, and I said, “I can’t do anyfing vat vill nake ny vlood mressure go umph. I cood have a stroke and nigh.” The assistant dentist asked what the doctors were doing to help. I said, “I can’t fine anyvun who vill take ny case. I’n lergic to da shuns. I need to fine stuff I wone vee lergic to.”

Then the dental assistant piped up and said, “Well, I don’t blame the doctors. I’m sure they don’t want to feel bad if it doesn’t work out for you.”

I shot her a look and said, “I cood die wifout helf. Da pressoo keefs goin’ uf in ny head and if I can’t get sunfing in to work, it vill kill nee.”

Without hesitating, she said cheerfully, “Well, I can see both sides.” Like we’re debating whether to have fish or chicken, instead of whether or not it’s better to kick the bucket to spare doctors’ feelings. She stuck with her “too bad for you” attitude.

At the end of December, my case was referred to the top neurosurgeon in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area after it was discovered that my brain had literally collapsed under the pressure, as well as started growing a tumor from the scar tissue that was left in from a previous shunt that is now about the size of a quarter. I know he got the radiology report that listed all of my symptoms. I know he got the impressions from the neurologist because he seemed to answer her question about whether I’m overdraining.

His reply was that my brain was fine and the tumor was no big deal. He also said the shunt isn’t overdraining. Now I’m not allowed to see him either. 

Here’s the deal: I know I’m not overdraining. If I were, I wouldn’t have high opening pressures every time they do a lumbar puncture. The overdraining assumption is strictly my new neurologist’s misunderstanding of slit ventricle syndrome – she’s trying to make my symptoms fit, instead of paying attention to what’s going on. Second, the brain tissue around the shunt and the tumor is turning to jelly. This isn’t normal and it’s a big deal. Third, the tumor is causing measurable cognitive damage. Fourth, and I’ll show you pictures, but my ventricles disappeared, and my brain has literally collapsed.

mymriscreenshots

I have new insurance that started on February 1st that comes with an advocate and a care coordinator, so I’m waiting for them to contact me, which is the norm. I smell a lot of research in my future for trying to figure out what I can try for the next shunt system, and I’m not looking forward to it, but I also know no one else will do it but me.

Fake It ‘Til You Make It Out Of There Alive

Posted on by akiwifreund

A few minutes ago I was standing in the middle of my kitchen, trying to figure out if the married couple downstairs was fighting again, and whether I should reach for my phone. Last Saturday the husband, whom I have nicknamed The Leprechaun because he’s shorter than my 5’6″ height and sports a red beard, had a 3-hour meltdown. One of many, I’d like to point out. He rages. He hits the wall. He hits furniture. He may even hit his wife. I hear her crying all the time.

I notified the apartment managers the week they moved in, and they told me to call the cops. On Saturday, I did. I got tired of the screaming and my walls shaking. The cops came and went, and The Leprechaun took it upon himself to immediately knock on my door afterwards and demand that I talk to him about why it’s acceptable for him to be abusive. You see, he has a traumatic brain injury. You see, he can’t drive. You see, it’s none of my business if he makes his wife cry. I didn’t open my door. I simply put my headphones back in and eventually he went away.

I drafted a letter to the apartment managers. In it, I recapped what happened in the past, including The Leprechaun knocking on my door right before New Year’s because I had dropped a bottle of lotion on the floor, because it had “caused a huge ruckus” (like that’s the same as 15 hours of his screaming rage) – and by the way, I hadn’t opened my door to him that time either. I also indicated that he had knocked on my door and demanded we talk after the cops had left on Saturday. I was told that the managers were going to have a meeting with him as well as talk to their attorneys to find out how to handle him because he had a disability (traumatic brain injury from serving in the Navy) and they have to “accommodate” him – though I’m not sure why his TBI overrides my disabilities. Also, let’s face it: no one has ever called the cops on me for being violent and threatening, because I’m not.

I got a text from one of the managers Wednesday night that they were setting up a meeting with him Thursday morning. Fifteen minutes later, The Leprechaun knocked on my door again and demanded that I open the door and talk to him. I told him through the door that I wasn’t dressed to open the door (which was the truth – I was resting in bed), and he said very forcefully, “I’LL WAIT.” Then I said that I was also on the phone (which was true – I was talking to someone out of state, and that friend could hear the entire exchange). Eventually The Leprechaun went away again, but I had to text the manager and tell him what happened, and he told me to call the cops if The Leprechaun came back.

I know the meeting happened on Thursday morning. I heard The Leprechaun return back to the apartment because he slammed the door as hard as he could. I didn’t hear him start packing boxes though, so I have no idea what the verdict was. Looks like I’ll have to pursue that answer Monday.

But it seems silly that I had to point out to the apartment managers in my letter to them that I don’t condone spousal abuse, I am not okay with him retaliating against me, I’m not his wife, he doesn’t pay my rent, and it doesn’t say anywhere in my lease that I’m required to accept abuse from the tenant who lives in the basement apartment. So now I’m on alert and ready to call the cops. C’mon, Leprechaun, your box of Lucky Charms is gonna run out sooner or later.

This ties into another subject that I was discussing with a friend about why women fake orgasms. Specifically, why do women who are having a one-night stand fake orgasms. Mainly because there’s so many douchebags like The Leprechaun running around. The worst are the ones who like to proclaim that they’re nice. No really, they’re nice! But then get any of your bits naked around them and they’ll make your nipples bleed or tell you that you like anal sex, you just don’t know it, and they’re going to show you how right they are.

I actually had the privilege of talking this process of faking it through with a man who was willing to listen rather than becoming defensive or angry. Think about it; when you talk about having one night stands as a single woman, you get the pious lecture about how you don’t deserve anything nice because you gave a man your body for only one night, you dirty whore. No lecture for the other party, though. He did nothing worse than stick his dick in another hole. But I digress.

We talked about the various reasons why women fake orgasms. But there’s a specific reason that isn’t talked about much that comes up from time to time on first dates/first-time or only-time sexual encounters, and that is personal safety. Sometimes you don’t know that things are going to go badly until you are both naked and the fucker has stopped listening, and it dawns on you that he simply wants a porno show. His script is running and you had better perform. The light bulb goes on over your head.

Of course, some men love the whole resistance and crying thing. That’s not what I’m talking about. The guys who can’t tell if a woman is faking are the ones who rely solely on porn for the cues of orgasm: “Oh” sounds, clenched hands, clamped jaw (or maybe even gaping open, whatever your preference). They want to dig a hole to China through your clit. If you complain that the pressure hurts, they push your hands away, tell you that you should stop being shy or that you really like it, and wrench your legs back open after they have closed to protect your most tender flesh. Same for anything that they want to do to you rather than do with you.

The light goes on. You give him his show, make all the right noises, tell him he is king, and get the fuck out of there before he rips your skin any more or gives you additional bruises and you have excruciating pain every time you pee because the urine is passing over open wounds.

I’m just saying, it’s okay to fake it sometimes. There’s a lot of Leprechauns out there.