Seek And Ye Shall Find

Yesterday didn’t strike me as being especially significant. It wasn’t a holiday and my rare disease wasn’t cured, so…

Okay, first of all, I’m paying more attention to the things that bring people to this little blog – and I do mean little. Six months ago I was lucky to get three visitors in a single day. Now my number of visitors is increasing because of the ways that I am networking with other bloggers and the content that I am including.

Nothing could prepare me for some of the search terms indicated by the program, though. (You’re welcome.)

*where does horny women hang in nashville
*fragile handle with care advertise porn
*pantyhose kik names
*stocking fetish social sites in India

Congratulations, and let your freak flag fly. There’s no way for me to identify the people making these searches. I have to point out, though – no one searched for hot, bald, unmarried women?? I mean, it’s been a while since I’ve been proposed to by a total stranger. I hope that issue remedies itself shortly.

In the evening yesterday I took the short bus to a guided meditation session held in a health crisis center. I wasn’t sure how it would go because I tend to just kind of throw my hands up in the air and then rush onto the next thing, whatever that is, to keep my brain stimulated because I get bored easily. During the actual meditation, which really only lasted about 20 minutes, I had to fight against dozing off twice, and luckily I didn’t snore or accidentally pas gas.

Twice I saw an orb rise out of a pool. I only “saw” it to the left of my left eye. I told some of the attendees during our recap about my experience and let them know that their vibes had a specific effect on me. One woman asked me if I had always been able to read strangers’ energy. I have, but I have never really put effort into following through on what I read; usually I push it away or ignore it, which is actually very destructive because then everything gets a free pass into my life and I end up hip deep in crap.

Whatever happened, the universe made a connection appear for me. My short bus driver made a stop after mine to pick up a lady in a wheelchair. She greeted me when she was lifted into the van, and immediately we started chatting. I asked her if she had just come from a dance performance because the building she had come out of was a theater specifically set up for that purpose. The answer was no, in fact; she was on the board for VSA Minnesota, the “state organization on arts and disability” (I got that from the website).

I told her a bit about my arts background as well as what I’m doing now (which is admittedly very little because my days are consumed by endless doctor appointments), and she gave me three organizations to get involved with besides her own to network, meet new people, be creative, and maybe even apply for a grant in my area of interest.

To the casual observer, this may not seem to be a big deal. It just drove home to me the fact that this state is so much more inclusive than where I moved from. I never, ever would have had so many resources to access for my particular physical challenges if I would have stayed in Arizona. I wouldn’t have been able to even ride the short bus because of their strict rules regarding who should be allowed to ride.

Really, meeting and speaking to that woman last night helped to open my eyes to the fact that even though I’ve got these major problems, I might actually be able to find a group of people who can see art where others may only see injury and illness. I am still working on retraining my brain to accept this as my new reality because the doctors have refused to keep operating on me. I still really miss driving my car while harmonizing at the top of my lungs.

Product Review for NatraCure

This is a review for two different products offered through NatraCure, a company that focuses on various products to support pain control. The really great thing about their site is that you can choose an area of your body that you would like to focus on – neck, foot, ankle, back, etc. – and they narrow down the product choices to the ones that are most appropriate for that particular area.

The first item I’m going to talk about is the Soft Gel Toe Stretcher and Exerciser. The material is incredibly flexible, and is actually infused with “7 botanical oils: avacado, olive, jojoba, grapeseed, canola and soybean.” They take it one step further with adding “green tea, willow fragrance and aloe vera.” I am telling you, if you have a cat or dog fascinated with your toes, they are really going enjoy your feet after you’ve had your toe stretcher on because it has such a pleasant smell.

These are very easy to get around your toes because of their flexibility. Pay attention to the instructions and the warnings. For instance, it’s NOT good to let the stretchers be on your toes for more than 10 minutes. The packaging says that the product is “diabetic-friendly,” but at the same time, it’s important to know your limitations. This does restrict blood flow to the toes a bit, even with the flexibility, and that is exactly what diabetics (and patients suffering from gout or good ol’ edema) need to be aware of. Even people with no issues with swelling or stunted blood flow should not go past the 10-minute time limit. Be kind to your feet.

My issue is that I’m in bed for about 22 hours of every 24 hours, so I’m having problems with the tendons in my feet shortening and stiffening. My big toes also tend to bend sideways as if they have been crammed into the toes of pointy shoes from the ’80s. These stretchers are fairly comfortable to wear. I’m not sure if they will help my big toes with realigning, but I’m going to keep using them daily.

The next item is the Magnetic Shoulder Support. I was warned before it was shipped to me that females who tried it found that it was too large and the “one size fits most” fit them poorly. I explained that I’m a good Midwestern woman raised on corn and built like a horse, so I doubted that I would have a problem with the fit.

The middle picture is the sling laid out flat and inside out. To wear it, you put the white stripes against your shoulder, then fasten the cuff around your arm with opposing Velcro pieces. The long, skinny part travels around your front and back and is closed with opposing Velcro pieces under your arm that is not being “treated” by the magnets.

This was fairly easy for me to put on. I estimated how tight I would need the sleeve, then slipped my arm and shoulder in, then closed the flaps under the other arm. However, I could see that if someone has mobility or fine motor skill issues, they might need assistance putting this on.

As predicted, the piece fit me just fine. One thing to be aware of, though, is that the fabric is 75% Neoprene (the same material divers use for their wet suits) and 25% Nylon, so right out of the package, there is an overwhelming chemical smell. I am particularly sensitive to chemicals and so I found it necessary to hand wash this before wearing it.

I wanted to try this product because for three years, all of my surgeries were done on the right side of my body, so I always had to rest and sleep on my left side. My shoulder really took a beating. I had to go through two rehab series because of an impinged nerve, and I could stand to go through rehab again – but I remember all of the exercises, so I’m trying to take care of it at home.

The idea is that the magnets (1,000 Gauss each) combined with the fabric that provides gentle compression will possibly “help stimulate blood vessels and blood oxygen levels and may help speed up the natural healing process.”

After wearing this for five days and up to four hours a time, I have not noticed an improvement in my range of motion or the pain. I don’t think that wearing it is doing me harm (I take it off for my rehab exercises), so I’m going to continue strapping it on for another week or two. It’s possible that it will be an appropriate treatment for other issues with the shoulder; I can only talk about what is affecting me directly.

The Magnetic Shoulder Support can be used on the right or left shoulder because it’s designed to be interchangeable.

This seems to be a great company that is focused on care for our most common trouble areas. My interactions with them have been pleasant, upbeat and thorough. I wish them every success as they continue to test and add products to serve the acute and chronic pain communities.

The Weirdness Of You

Let your freak flag fly.

The hardest thing to do is to find someone who loves your weirdness.

This week I initiated another person into FetLife. My Friday date has a pantyhose and toe fetish and before coming over, he put in very specific requests for dark red toenail polish and nude pantyhose/stockings. I asked him if he had a profile on Fet. He had to look it up! I would not be surprised if he suddenly appeared. However, his fetish does not seem to be hardcore – he enjoys other acts as well, thank goodness. Main reason: I’m not a foot model. In fact, some have called my feet “Flintstone feet,” not exactly drool-worthy. All of this week I have been soaking, scrubbing and grinding away calluses because I was very aware that these toes could end up in his mouth – and they did.

As far as fetishes go, his is pretty harmless. However, I still had to accommodate him and find pantyhose and nail polish. I didn’t give him a list of anything that I required. But so far, he has won points with me because he isn’t telling me that I’m not doing “enough” to get better, or making me feel like a loser for not being able to work or really, just leave the apartment for more than 30 minutes. He also didn’t freak out when I told him that I had to wear wigs. That one is a big one! The real test will be to see if he sticks around and/or comes back again in the near future.

Something strange is happening with my body. I’ve been dealing with these crazy symptoms since my shunt failed on April 10th, but for the past three days without changing my medications, diet or supplements, I have been able to be upright for hours. HOURS. Like a normal person. I’m still having some issues with vertigo, but the pressure isn’t so strong on my brain that my face becomes paralyzed like it usually does when I’ve been upright for 30 minutes.

I honestly don’t know if the change is because it’s not terribly hot or cold. I don’t know if it’s because the humidity is relatively low for this part of the country at this time. I don’t know if it’s because the air pressure is at a certain level and is holding steady. I don’t have a clue.

But because I don’t feel like I’m dying, I suddenly have energy – at least, I’m back at fibromyalgia-style energy. I feel guilty for not getting in my car, which is currently being stored at my sister’s house and being prepared to be sold, to go to a concert, or the library, or the grocery store. I want to go out on dates like a real person! I have even thought about working because when I have this energy zinging through me, I hate to be idle. (Honestly, that’s what gets me into trouble. I either get really vocal on Facebook or I chat up a bunch of men on OKCupid.) But I don’t know why this is happening, and I don’t know how long it’s going to last.

My reminder of that is the notice I got from Metro Mobility letting me know I am eligible to use it until May of 2019. It’s a service set up through the bus system in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area for people with disabilities who can’t use regular buses. Normally I can only take the bus if my aunt rides with me and takes care of the fare as well as keeping an eye out for our stop because I can’t see well enough. I have to ride the short bus now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for this service. I just really like my independence and, you know, being able to see, and using this emphasizes just how handicapped I am and what I have had to give up.


In another nod to normalcy, I just got a message on OKCupid from a guy who is seven years younger than me who claims to be “long and thick just for [me].” I did specify in my profile that I didn’t want to receive any penis pictures. At least he stuck to the rules and described it instead?? I replied and told him his DNA determined his length and girth, and has nothing to do with me.