I fell asleep last night somewhere between 8 and 10 pm, and that is as close of a window as I can get. As I said to one of my short bus drivers this week, it used to be a sign of weakness or a lack of social life if I ever changed to pajamas before midnight; now I think it’s a late night if I’m not comfy by 9:45 pm.
I’m turning into my parents. Maybe I even skipped a generation and went straight to my grandparents.
The trade-off is that I’m also not sleeping long or late. Most mornings now I wake up in agony at around 3 am because my right hip is burning (not at all fibromyalgia pain, so I’m thinking it’s the Lyme), or my left shoulder is angry. I had to sleep on my left side for three years because all of my surgeries used to be done on my right side, so I’ve got a nerve impingement that I’ve had to do shoulder rehab for twice already in four years. It’s not responding to the exercises I have memorized and it’s now doing a weird thing like it’s popping out of and then back into socket. I finally broke down and called my primary care doctor’s office yesterday to get set up with PT and pain management.
As I hunker down in the early morning with my cough drops and water and browse through my WP Reader, a thought strikes me: I no longer think in poetry. I can no longer bear to read poetry.
I think pain has rewired me so that I avoid the most descriptive and flowery words, or think of the significance of pauses and stanzas. I am in the economy car. I want the most efficient features possible for my money (aka time). I want to get in and get out.
And I want people to rethink their use of commas.
I hope that when I’m not being driven by pain, I can return to the imagery and thoughtfulness of poetry, because I know there is some fabulous stuff being put out there for all to read. I don’t want to forever close the door on that appreciation. (However, my stance on the proper usage of commas will never change.)
The Sick and the Dating 
Oh dear! I hope you get some relief for your shoulder (and other pain) soon! I hear you on the commas although I know I don’t always use them right myself! I need a refresher course! My current pet peeve is people that spell “follow-up” “follow up.” I work in medical billing so I see A LOT of charts that come back wrong!
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I was a proofreader during my working life. Sometimes I think not knowing the rules would make me happier. 🙂 Thank you for your good thoughts.
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Pain is a terrible thing to live with. And not just because of the ouch factor.
But because you start to adapt in weird ways and the various ways you adapt start to cause new problems.
And because you get used to certain levels of pain and you stop recognizing when something is actually worth of see a doctor. Its just something you live with.
And because people can’t see the pain and so they discount every damn thing you are going through.
Its insidious. And just the ouch factor would be horrible, but these subtle thing are also a problem and people don’t talk about them.
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Yes! And my pain scale is markedly different from others who do not have chronic pain (though it feels like those lucky ducks are few and far between).
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I’m sorry you’re hurting. I also apologize for my misplaced commas, as I’m sure there are plenty.
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Hey, don’t apologize – 3 pm me feels much differently about it than 3 am me! ❤ (You know you can also tell me to shove it. 🙂 )
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Boy can I relate to the pain on the sides waking you up. I hope PT helps. I have frozen shoulder in my left shoulder, it’s actually doing well, I’m moving it, but it hurts a lot if I lie on that side.
You know, I don’t really like poetry now either. I have a very good friend who blogs mostly telling stories or poems, I just can’t read it. I feel horrible about it.
I bet I used commas wrong. haha
Funny thing, I often use….to make a point when writing, I don’t know why.
Sorry I haven’t been around much, you know, I’ve been shitty.
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First and foremost, no apologies are necessary. I think those of us on this Magical Medical Mystery ride as well as the Carousel of Crap understand the physical and emotional ups and downs, and we do the best we can.
But oh, girl, those ellipses are a deep, dark rabbit hole! Never let them take the place of a good old-fashioned period or (appropriate) comma.
Hugs and love to you!
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