Author: akiwifreund

Travel Realistically In Your 20’s

Posted on by akiwifreund

I’m a gypsy at heart. Anyone who knows just a portion of my story always asks, “So what brought you to _______?” My answer is always, “Me.” With the exception of this move back to Minnesota to be crazy ill, I have always driven my choices – I never waited for something to be decided for me. If I set my heart on a destination, I went. I moved without knowing a single person at my chosen location. I moved without having ever visited prior. I moved with a bag of clothes, a music collection and an air mattress.

Understand that 20 years after my friend and I took our road trip around the U.S. and camped for a couple of months, the economy was much more stable than it is now. But also, for being 20 years later, the gas prices are hella affordable.

My advice if you decide to move or travel, for what it’s worth, is: 1) Be prepared to live minimally. Decide what is truly essential. Forego your mani/pedi. Pare down your electronic subscriptions. Stop buying more clothes. Don’t go out to eat and instead learn to cook well AND creatively, because that is going to save your ass when money is lean. I have survived for months on $10 a week for groceries. 2) Work multiple jobs. This will give you extra cash to save up (or pay off bills) that will afford you more travel money. It also makes you a MORE VALUABLE employee. People often ask me what I do, and my answers for the past 20 years have always included an “and”: I am an escrow assistant AND box office representative. I’m a software trainer AND a legal proofreader. Again, have a variety of skills, even if it means that you know how to assign seats for a performance at a theater as well as answer phones and direct calls, because that will save your hide. 3) Research the area you are interested in visiting or moving to. Search ads on Roommates.com and Craigslist.com to get an idea of whether rents are affordable in that area AND if there seems to be an abundance of rentals in your price range. If the rent seems steep, everything else is going to be as well. 4) It’s perfectly normal to be afraid. The best way to dial down your fear is to plan and research. 5) Don’t just talk about it, live it!

I can tell you, with all of my heart, that I regretted nothing – even when I had barely enough to pay bills – because I was in charge of my life and my choices.
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I honestly can’t stand all of the articles I read that are like “You’re in your 20’s! Quit your job and open up an ice cream shack in the Bahamas!” or “Don’…

Source: Travel Realistically In Your 20’s

I Love Where I live-Part II

Posted on by akiwifreund

Where does your heart sing? Live THERE.

Unknown's avatarMarilyn R. Gardner

childhood-

I know this brilliant woman, Alisha Paddock, who is working on her doctorate on the intriguing subject of sacred space. As part of her research she’s been studying the difference between space and place. Here’s how she briefly describes those differences at their very essence:

Space is an abstract concept and needs an identity, memories and certain behaviors attached to the space in order to change it to ‘place’. When people lose (their place and with it their sense of identity, their memories, their behavioral cues) because they have been displaced (by outside forces as refugees), or (by) travel, or because of a move, these people are re-placed and need to work at creating a new identity, defining proper behaviors for the new space, and staying long enough to create new memories. People need these types of connections not only to other people but also to…

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Now You See Me

Posted on by akiwifreund

About a month ago, my fellow blogger Nikki (As I Live and Breathe, http://ilivebreathe.com/blab-archive/) and I started hosting sessions on Blab to talk about topics that concern us as patients with rare diseases and chronic diseases. We’ve had a lot of fun and have learned along the way what has worked and what hasn’t. Nikki also keeps seats on lockdown so we don’t have bullies show up on camera (though we can’t control trolls that come in and leave after they have said nasty, vile things). It’s pretty easy technology once you get the hang of it. I hope that you will consider joining us for our #SickadillyChat every Friday around 4 pm EST/1 pm PST (times sometimes change by an hour or two earlier if we have something that is going on – you can always subscribe to Nikki on Blab so you have the link for the show). If you are otherwise occupied, Nikki keeps a working list of our chats as they are recorded.

“Sickadilly,” according to the Urban Dictionary, means 1. To be fresh or poppin, or 2. To look beat. I mean, c’mon, we’re a little bit of both, aren’t we?

I consider us lucky to have the help of a few physician friends that Nikki has gotten to know well from her years of advocacy and education. Their enthusiasm and openness helps to keep us on the right track.

If you have ideas or topics you would like to cover, feel free to leave comments for Nikki or I. We also may approach people to join us, if they are able. We already have a running list of topics that we hope everyone will find interesting.

Here’s the latest one regarding apps and devices used to assist with your healthy living and healthcare from home, from February 26, 2016:
https://blab.im/nikkiseefeldt-sickadilly-chat-4-let-s-talk-about-tech-baby-ci-disab-rare-dis

Don’t Ever Think ‘Equality’ Is A Dirty Word

Posted on by akiwifreund

We need women (and MEN) from all walks of life, from all occupations, from all age groups, to get on the bandwagon with the idea that equality is worth it. Already my nephews, aged 10 and 6, have started reciting the ugly words, “Boys are smarter than girls.” They certainly didn’t learn that from me or their parents. Now our work is even harder with trying to turn that thought process around (if it is even a process – because they are more parrots at that age than scholars).

I want all girls and boys to grow up to appreciate differences while embracing each other for their value as human beings first.

I want women to receive equal pay for equal work.

I want men to stop claiming all space as their own, including women’s bodies.

I want women to be supportive, rather than see each other as competition to be beat.

But in addition to that:

I want people who are labeled “disabled” to be out in the work force (if they are able) and have a social life filled with inclusion, and to be portrayed correctly in advertising, TV and movies.

I want “inspiration porn” to end.

I want the freedom to practice – or NOT practice – any and every religion of my choosing.

I want churches to start paying taxes.

I want people of ALL races to be valued, truly, but I want privilege to be acknowledged and then driven to extinction.

I want our actions to match our words.

I want choices, whether it’s the company I keep, the job that pays the bills, the food I put in my body, the chemicals I keep away from my dwelling and the doctors I see. The more we work towards total inclusion, the better our lives will feel, period.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jennifer-lawrence-feminism-equal-pay_us_56d08bfee4b03260bf769e58?

I Take My Sex Like I Take My Tea – With My Consent

Posted on by akiwifreund

Consent, with sex replaced as tea! If you can understand drinking liquids, you can understand consent.

The Lonely Tribalist's avatarThe Lonely Tribalist

This video was created by the Thames Valley Police November 2015. They’ve been implementing a #ConsentIsEverything campaign, which is all sorts of awesome. Why it hasn’t gone more viral is a damn shame because it is so good – mainly for its simplicity. If you haven’t seen it before, give it a watch below. It’s quite worth 2 and a half minutes of your life.

*sigh* So sad that consent can be so easy to understand when applied to pretty much any other activity, but it’s just flabbergasting to apply to sexual agency and freedom. Thank you, Thames Valley Police, and everyone else putting in the hard work to normalize consensual sexual relationships!

[Header image source: Vimeo]

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Dude, You’re Stepping On My Personal Space

Posted on by akiwifreund

I wrote this article for Patient Worthy on February 14th; since that day I got daily (sometimes twice daily) texts from this guy saying, “Good morning cutie” or “sweet dreams cutie.” The most recent ones – because he still won’t stop – say “Just got to my hotel” and “How are you?” For the life of me, I can’t figure out why he would bait me with the hotel remark because that one really came out of the blue. I haven’t traded texts with him since February 10th. Was the hotel text his clumsy attempt at a booty call? Or was it not intended for me, and instead should have gone to whomever was playing the part of his dirty little secret?

Dude, just…stop.

Boundary Waters and Dating Boundaries

Illness Army: “Diagnosis of Chronic Illness”

Posted on by akiwifreund

This applies directly. I got a diagnosis, so now what? This is a fabulous list of 10 items to remind me (and others) that the best things in life are free.

indisposedandundiagnosed's avatarIndisposed and Undiagnosed

Diagnosis of a Chronic Illness…

At first, there is some relief. You think, finally I know what is going on. My questions are finally answered and someone actually listened. Now I can move on.

But sooner or later, depending on the person, realities of what the diagnosis means sinks in. For some, a little at a time, for others all at once. Sometimes triggered by events, sometimes by people, sometimes out of nowhere at all. Things will forever be different.

These times can be extremely distressing, exhausting, terrifying, depressing. But, the important thing to remember is you can still be happy. You can still do things, they may just be different things, or the same things but in different ways. With the right support, anything is possible.

Here is a list of 10 things you can probably still do:

  1. You can tell people you love them. You don’t have to…

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Dear Other Dude at the Playground…

Posted on by akiwifreund

We know enough now (or should) about what the path of exclusion, ridicule and shame leads to. Isn’t joy just so much better than just about anything else in this world?

Daddy Coping in Style's avatarDaddy Coping in Style

Dear Other Dude at the Playground on Saturday –

I couldn’t fight the need to write you about an incident between our kids.Remember me? I was the dad with the son wearing a pink dress.

Before he burst onto the playground, and as I parked the car, he was positively vibrating. I asked, “Now…you’re sure you want to wear your dress?”

He shouted in response, “Yes! Because I want to show everyone how beautiful I am in this beautiful dress!”

It was a big deal for him; and for me.

He hasn’t asked to wear a dress “out,” before. I didn’t fight it. Who cares, right?

Or so we’d like to think.

As you noticed, he couldn’t contain his excitement showing off the dress to the only two kids playing…your daughter and her friend. He skipped and twirled and chased them for ten minutes shouting, “Do you like my dress?…

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Healthy Living Update: Why Playing the “If-Then” Game Will Crush Your Chances of Being Happy

Posted on by akiwifreund

I don’t hide the fact that I’m a flawed, broken mess, and I’m okay with that. Instead, I find the little things – watching videos of babies laughing or kittens playing, or dipping my fingers into bins of endives (a la “Amelie”), or putting on a particularly comforting scent. Go forth and conquer, my fellow flawed humans. It’s a beautiful life.

Buying Cruelty Free: Physician’s Formula

Posted on by akiwifreund

Source: Buying Cruelty Free: Physician’s Formula

Well, my psychic powers have been in full force for the last week. Prime example: I wrote my “Bee’s Knees” piece before I read this one, which also talks about making conscientious purchases, including makeup products. I hope we continue the momentum.