A week ago I received a message from a guy on OKCupid who seemed pretty sane. What I mean by this is that he typed complete sentences that included all of the proper punctuation, he didn’t call me “sweetie,” “honey,” “dear,” or “beautiful,” and he didn’t simply say “Hi.” He did tell me right off the bat that I had a lot of negatives in my profile (as in, “Don’t send me dick pics”) so it was hard for him to get a true sense of my personality.
I wrote him back and thanked him for contacting me. I told him that I wrote my profile in that manner because in the past, it never mattered what I wrote – every guy who contacted me wanted to get right down to showing me his penis, so I had to immediately make my personal boundaries known.
I also told him that I wasn’t really in top form for dating for the time being; my time and attitude are both being consumed by medical stuff and I am not the best company right now. His response was, “Hey, I understand on both fronts – it’s gotta be pretty frustrating to be a woman on this site and fighting off all the trash, and if you have stuff going on that is too much to deal with, I won’t take it personally if I don’t hear from you again.”
I wrote back and said, “Hey, thanks for understanding! I don’t want to be one of your “stories” because of the stuff I have going on, so I think it’s best if I take a time out right now.” So…crickets. He’s being a gentleman and taking no to mean no at face value, which I appreciate to no end. It’s times like these when I really, really feel cheated about the body I currently dwell in.
From another guy an hour ago: “Hello! I love the profile. Very Intelligent way to let people know you are a no-nonsense, straight forward woman, who know what she wants. And I like that.” However, he’s a holy-rollin’ Christian and I’m not at all attracted to him physically, so I’m going to have to thank him and turn him down gently. I’m going to stay on hiatus for now.
And I just saw someone from the town where my mom’s business is located. There’s only 1,000 people in that town on a good day, about 80 miles from here, and I can’t figure out if I know him…I’m afraid to click on his profile. I guarantee you he’s a Trump humper and we’d have nothing in common anyway, but it creeps me out that I’m back to being in the same state as the place that I ran away from two decades ago and I’m going to keep running into people I know exactly in the same manner.
The Sick and the Dating 
Fuck I feel you on the too sick to contemplate relationship thing. It is fucking shit. But I also kind of believe no matter how sick we are, if it’s the right person.. It’ll work out.
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I’m gonna leave breadcrumbs out in the universe in case it’s listening. So first up, Universe, I’d like a man who is nice to me, who isn’t a mouth breather (and I’m going to stop there because I have to leave more on the future trail). Here’s to “it’ll work out.” ❤
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people do find their long term partners online so it does work, but fuck it takes a lot of energy. i still prefer the coffee shop route…
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Me too! I live in an artsy neighborhood but there is a decidedly un-artsy coffee shop that is the only one I can manage to walk to. I’d like my love to start with an unusually funny tale of chance meeting…and I really need to stop watching so many movies. Best wises, Vi. ❤
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In NYC that’s called a “meet cute.” I had a few in my life, but they didn’t pan out very well. Other than our romantic inclinations, we had very little else in common.
lol – “Trump humper.”
After trying it with one ex- relationship (way over invested in the 2nd Amendment), I now quickly excuse myself the minute I realize I’ve met a Republican (in any environment — and won’t talk politics with my one college friend I still love dearly *despite* her political views) – I KNOW we’ll never-ever-ever agree! Now that my father is no longer alive, I don’t have to tap dance to sidestep the topic with him either. We NEVER understood the political beliefs of the other – especially fair taxation and the meaning of “human rights”
xx,
mgh
(Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
– ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
“It takes a village to transform a world!”
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By nature I’m social – though much less so because I’m stuck in bed now – and by default I know a lot of people, so that means I also happen to know Republicans, but I don’t always KNOW I know Republicans, until a year like this one. Then it’s like getting slapped in the face with raw fish, ya know?? Some of them are really quiet and then they declare their deep, adoring love for Michele Bachmann. Then I start stressing about how we’re all gonna die.
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Sorry you are stuck in bed with virtual playmates. And yeah, I worry about the end of the entire world if a certain angry egomaniac gets his fingers on the button!
xx,
mgh
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